|
|
Monday, December 11th, 2006
| |
6:56 pm - so i can remember...
|
this journal entire is more to myself to talk about me and what I'm doing but here it goes, I'm a student right now nothing but a student but next semester I will be a student teacher in one of the RE classes. Today I was talking to some of my future students and they were bitching about all the things their current student teach does wrong. Got me thinking.... what is my purpose? What can I define myself as in order for me not to become the enemy but to do my job correctly. Here’s my definition as a teacher: The purpose of a teacher is to educate the students. Teach them, make them learn. And then Prove to the University that they have infect taught the student what they are paying to learn from the teacher. So the Teacher position is very much a servant type. They server the student and server the university. I think a lot of Profs have a hard time with that, thinking: I’ve got to 8 years of school to get my P.H.D. this student must work to get an education from me! When in all actuality the goal is to give them knowledge. And then ones you have given them the knowledge to test to see if they received the knowledge. And that’s what tests are. So here’s how I should think about things: Give them my knowledge on the subject. Test them on the knowledge I’ve given them. Hand the proof over to the University showing that they have knowledge. So there it is, it takes the evil out of my teaching. I know that I feel like a lot of times the teachers expect why to much out of the amount of time and effort you have for each class. And they get off on people not being able to pass their class cause they know they know more then the students and that makes them feel good. to sum it up: If students aren't learning anything about the Subject I'm not doing my job, If I can't prove students are learning using my tests then I'm not doing my job.
current mood:  anxious
current music: the hum of the fridge
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
12:25 pm - afterlife
|
It was cool, it was fun, it gave me a direction in life that couldn’t be questioned there for was unfailing. It gave me hope when It made me think there wasn’t any. It was all I needed. I gave and gave until I realized I couldn’t live my life by something untangable and so easily made up in the imagination. I have to say I miss the stability of it all. The no need to question. Does anyone else understand? I’m intense, I can’t take anything lightly. The Security and sunshine gone to chaotic daze neither dark or light.
current mood:  okay
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 4th, 2006
| |
11:21 pm - Here I go being bold...
|
ok I warned you in an earlier entire that I was going to use this live journal to put out some ideas I have through out the day. So here I go, I title it “Power of Prayer”, So we’re told in church praying will make a difference… I don’t see how that’s possible. If God is a good god, would s/he not already know what is best for each of us and give us what is best? I don’t see how me praying is going to matter, how many people praying is going to matter? God isn’t a democratic god. S/he is way above that, really. How can people think that’s them throwing up a little option to God is going to change a thing? Like Dear God, will you help me get safely to work today in this snow blizzard. If Gods going to take your soul from this earth this day what is that prayer going to do? Or if god has it planned you need a wreck to give you a re-think on what’s important in life then that’s what s/he’s going to do! Or if s/he just needs you to go to work that day then good. Like at church there are those prayer things where people are listed to be prayed for if God’s going to take that person that that’s what’s going to happen its not like the sick person’s going to get to heaven and be like “Lord? Why did you take me from my family?” God says “Well… You needed 30 people to pray for you and you only got 29… sorry, dude” No, God has a master plan, when he dropped life in to the pool he knew just how the ripples would float. Prayer might be good for thankfulness though… maybe showing God how you’re happy you’re here, that would be a use. He’s still gonna take you when he takes you but he’ll know you weren’t ungrateful, but he already knew you weren’t going to be ungrateful when he made you great great great great great great great great grandparents sperm and eggs. So then? Why do we pray? What’s the point? I think it might just be that it gives us a sense we’re in control, a rather ridiculous idea, people need to except we’re not in control and life is planned out as it is. Nothing to be sad about, if you believe in God, hopefully a loving friendly God, then you haven’t a thing to fear. If you don’t believe in God then know that evolution is in control, you are simply a product of nature and nurture, Nature being the genes your ancestors have given you and nurture being the patterns of behavior your ancestors have given you. Still you’re not in control no one is… not to say to give up, no, keep going, I know you will you’re programmed by god or evolution to do so, or if you do give up than you were programmed by god or evolution to do so. So what then now? Live out your life and keep humanity rolling. I just don’t see the point in praying since god already knows I’m grateful, to me emotions are a direct connections to god and those in and of themselves are daily prays as god has designed them.
current mood: creative
current music: silence
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, November 13th, 2006
| |
9:37 pm - Updates
|
so If you're reading my Live Journal you might have noticed I've just made it look all fancy:-P, I figured I'd do some 5th year clean up since I haven't touch any of the customizing stuff since I’ve had this account. I think I’m going to try to start uses this as a way to writing down the crazy ideas that go on in my head daily. and, well, like, I only have 3 friends on this thing and I don't know who read the things I write down, but like if you have any comments write 'em down eh? hehe so often I think people find me odd cause I'm so quiet, and full of unorthodox ideas... But I'm thinking all the time and with this blasted ADD it’s hard for me to focus on anything going on around me except for things that grab my attention for unknown reasons. But this is just a warning I guess... I’m hoping to write down a bunch of weird things... so yeah... haha oh yeah and the below entry... I though that was super funny... Kristin, I think you’d laugh the hardest... Atari, Play station... what will it be next:-P. Man I had such a productive evening planned out... I'm having a hard time getting motivated... I a very important thing dude Friday and about 4 more hours of work to do on it... but I can't get myself in gear even though I haven't much to do... Like the thing top on the list tonight was go work on my Human Figure for Pottery, yeah that didn't happen and Sean's getting off world in 30 minutes and then I'm supposed to go over there and Sauna with him, Robby, and Angela, then I'll probably spend the night and have nothing new done by tomorrow... totally lame, a lot of people are talking about "Senioritis" I’m scared shitless of not graduating I don't think I could come down with senioritis... alright enough for now, I'll babble later.
current mood:  calm
current music: the fish tanks water fall
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, November 12th, 2006
| |
6:16 pm
|
 | | The Playstation
Random Gentle Sex Master (RGSMf)
Easy to turn on. Hard to beat. You are The Playstation.
You're a nice girl, and you have lots of sex. It's therefore highly likely that you're attractive, and you're certainly outgoing & friendly. Plus, this healthy physical attitude of yours indicates deeper emotional well-being and stability. Unheard of. When guys dare to dream, they dream of you.
You don't get attached too easily, and, to wit, you're not necessarily looking for something long-term right now. That's a bigger asset than you know. Though, physically speaking, you're open to anything, you're keeping your emotional side well-protected. This means there won't be a lot of wreckage to clean up whenever you decide to settle down.
Your exact opposite:
The Priss
Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer | In the meantime, the men you share yourself with actually respect you. Like them, you enjoy sex for its own sake and don't need any other validation for pleasure than pleasure itself. Hopefully, you have the good sense to blow off anyone who thinks less of you for that. Usually, this is the part of the description where we offer some life-correcting advice, but honestly, we can't think of anything about you we'd change. Keep on fucking, partner.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Mixed Messenger
CONSIDER: Anyone else |
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. |
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, April 16th, 2006
| |
12:21 am - HIPPY EASTER:-P
|
haha ok bad joke... its Easter and its 12:22 am in the morning of easter ok so now that clear. I'm chillin with my hippie boyfriend who I like a whole lot. We are listening to French Ragay umm i don't know how to spell so this evenings going well. man Salad is sooo great. just cheese, turkey, carrots, lettuce, cuccumber, ranch dressing. Oh man soo good, Tomorrow is the last day no if and or buts soo thats kind of lame. I hope sean goes out with me west that would rock cause i like him being around. Soo, hows life folks? Ummm yeah soo you know that last day is right? the last day... ok yeah you do what to tlak about i don't even know. hahahah
ok soo tomorrow I'm getting up and going to Seans house and eattig a easter bunch with his family kind of scarey like. Soooooo Sean and I are making Breech Syrup, yes you can make that 100 breech sap gallons make 1 gallon breech syrup. Crazy but we already have 3 gallons of sap after just 2 hours so when we get there tomorrow We'll have to empty the buckets/ milk cartons again. haha well ok yeah enough babling I should be doing home work shame On me .
current mood:  high
current music: And Then I Got High
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, April 10th, 2006
| |
1:22 pm - blah
|
God bless The Christians who are so bend on only being with each other while, their Lord befriended prostitutes and tax collectors. You can’t call you’re selves Christians. The word Christian means little Christ and the way you judge is not anything your lord would have done. “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians....... Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” Mahatma Gandhi. Christian in this country is a hypocrisy they've gone so far from the teaching of the bible they will never be about to return "the greatest of all these teaching is (brotherly)love"-Jesus How can a Christian pick up a gun and kill another human being. It's not possible and it’s so hypocritical I could explode. The apocalypse might be coming but it would not be on account of the 'non-Christians' it will be on account of the slaughtered message that modern day 'Christians' teach. It will be then that god, like before in the days of Noah, will see no one knows who he is anymore and will destroy the earth. When will I see a true Christian, is it possible? It will be almost impossible to find a true Christian church.
current mood:  annoyed
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, February 13th, 2006
| |
12:26 pm - here we go again
|
Well, I wrote another one of Kim's nictorious poems, sorry about that but i kind of like it thats way I'm posting it:
You torment me and that’s why I love you
You control my thoughts and I belong to you
You’re the one who could kill my soul
You’re the one who controls my joy
I never wanted it to be like this
I only wanted to find safety
Now I see I’m more vulnerable now then ever
Now you control me and I’m bound in fear
What if this is what it was meant to be?
What if this all I can be just you and me?
for all those who might read this, its just about how when you're in a relationship you can never be 100% sure the one you love loves you back, and since you love them you'll do anything for them. But will they do anything for you? How do you find out? What is love? I feel I have a tendensy to think that the dude doesn't like me like I like him. and these are self abusive thoughts because it make me be truely controlled even if my partner isn't controling, even if the fact is he alows me to do whatever i want but you see, I don't wanna do anything unless he wants me to do it. I don't know how to break this cycle. I want it to be that I'm free of him,and He's free of me and that we can all be happy without each other, but a relationship by a defanitions is co-depends and if that depends is gone then the relationship doesn't exisit. What I need is Happiness independence, maybe. But if I'm just as happy with him as I am with out him then why waste energy and time with him outside of the cultural constrants that i'm needing to find a life partner. maybe if my last relationship hadn't been so sucky and full of lies. I would be able to trust him. I just maybe I need to work on trust. Fuck it I don't need this shit.
current mood:  cold
current music: the sound of the TV through the wall and cars on the road
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, February 9th, 2006
| |
9:28 am - Hi
|
Hello anyone who reads this, I'm currently going to begoing to hang out with Steve Koch an amazing snowboarder mountaineer!:-PI hung out with him and OORP last night but we're all going to breakfest this morning too. and then class then hang out some more then, have him do his speech, then hang out some more:-P oh well anyways he's climbed the highest peaks on all 7 contenints and then snow boarded down them:-) bad ass. So... I'm doing Fire Fighting Out in Montanta this summer But I'm still waiting on my paper work to come so i can fill it all out, I mean I get it fill it all out pee in a cup and then send it in and they should be able to offer me the job. I went to Munising Ice Fest this past weekend that rocked i do like to ice climb much fun. and then the week before that I camp out on campus 4 nights in a row with Sean... Hes pretty cool, I've never had a Boyfriend spend all 4 nights out there with me. more reason to like him:-P. well i should probably headed out. This weekend I get to chill which means I get to do homework and Clinicals. oh man! so listen to this on the Clinicals sheet for EMT it says ICU (4) MED (4) and RESP (8) sooo what do i think oh yes I have 4 times of ICU and Med which is 16 hours a peice. and RESP would be 32 hours. and i'm all freaking out doing 2 clinicals a weekend. when this whole fucking time its been 4 hours! 4 hours! and 8 Hours! I've put in soooooo much fucking time! so the way it would have been was ICU (1) Med (1) and RESP (2) oh man so I behind because I've only done RESP once! cause it was my favorite so I saved it for last! god damn the irony:-) ah well. OK G2G peace out to who ever reads this:-) bye
current mood:  cheerful
current music: weird music Sean gave me
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, October 27th, 2005
| |
2:58 pm - Hey yo
|
Hi its Me Kim, umm sorry to those people who want my SN I like it alot and I would like to keep it as my own. but Yeah another year of college I'm the big 20 now moving up in the world i ain't no teenager. Classes are hard shit but I get by. hehe here we go again every other post i have a new boy. But yeah I have a new Boy his name is Sean and hes a local in Marquette hes really cool. That dude form Alaska I talked about earlier is a jerk sooo we don't talk to him anymore. Um.... Yeah but I'm trying to get a job as a photographer for the Northwind... they haven't called me back after my first assignment.... god I hope I didnt fuck it up too bad... ah well.. oh man soo i'm an officer for OORP now and that rocks and I have my own house that rocks... and I'm alive so that rocks. hmm what else to write i just wanted to make a post...so thats what I'm doing. Oh! I was in Alaska alll this summerit was pretty cool. Veil spass fur alles zu machten. so I did a bunch of backpakcing and keeping it real it was a good time. Being in the kitchen sucked balls i didn't like who i worked with... well namely a dude thats name starts with a W and ends in a asbi but we're ok now and I'm happyily up here at school I hope to work firefighting this summer so i can make money, i need money very baddly. thus I'm going to go risk my life for it cause thats how i roll. ok... I'm done.. maybe I'll post again soon, Bye!
current mood: chipper
current music: Tool
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, February 16th, 2005
| |
3:37 am - My thoughts
|
No one has to agree with me. But I'm worried to death about this country. I wish I could say it doesn't affect me but it would be a lie. I give my money to the government through what little taxes I pay. I wish we weren't in this war. We started it. Its straight up childish and ignorant to start trouble that wasn't there. I think the US government could be a great thing but it bullies. We have been in straight wars since WWI. Our economy rocks because of it but what blood to we sleep on at night? I'd like to say I would rather suffer like the rest of the world then be a part of this glutinous monster but to my disappointment I can't leave my emotions won't let me leave. I have family friends and safety here. and I feel guilty for it. I know what I'm doing. I will not let my defense mechanisms rule me I will face the truth. I'm lucky to be here in the US and that’s all it is luck I guess time and space pulled the right card for me. I just wish there was something I could do... maybe someday I'll make a difference... just as each of us say 'maybe someday'...
current mood:  gloomy
current music: Dogwood, just as before and before that
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
3:35 am - ONE TIN SOILDER
|
Listen children, to a story, that was written long ago. About a kingdom, on a mountain, and the valley folk below.
On the mountain, was a treasure, burried deep beneath a stone and the valley people swore they'd have it for their very own.
Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend, do it in the name of Heaven, you can justify it in the end. There wont be any trumpets blowing, come the judgement day. On the bloody morning after, One Tin Soldier rides away.
So the people of the valley, sent a message up the hill, asking for the buried treasure, tons of gold for which they'd kill. Came an answer, from the kingdom, with our brothers, we will share, all the secrets, of our mountain, all the riches buried there.
Now the valley, cried with anger, mount your horses, draw your swords, and they killed the, mountain people. So they won their just rewards. Now they stand, beside the treasure, on the mountain, dark and red. Turned the stone, and looked beneath it... "Peace on earth" was all it said.
Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend, do it in the name of Heaven, you can justify it in the end. There wont be any trumpets blowing, come the judgement day. On the bloody morning after, One Tin Soldier rides away.
current mood:  worried
current music: still Dogwood
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
3:29 am - Sing of me. Of all the men I've killed
|
DOGWOOD LYRICS
"The Battle of Them Vs. Them"
I'll sing a song of a time such as these.
Though many a year as now passed.
The lesson's the same, but the sentiments changed.
The impression it made still does last for all.
Serving his country,
Enlist! Do it now.
His took up his arms, he would show.
Such bravery as he took many a life,
Of the people he would never know
Sing of me.
Of all the men I've killed,
I know that this will build me up.
Think of me.
I know that I'll be brave.
They all fell down that day.
Well after the war, people picked up their life.
The damage was already done.
While fatherless children slept under the door,
And woke innocent to the sun.
Please why me?
I know they'd take it back,
Why don't they take it back?
Comfort me.
A child grows to fast,
And now let him ask.
A small little child sits and waits for his dad,
Hands clutching a brown telegram,
Informs him his father won't be coming home.
He gave up his life for his land.
Sing of me
And all the men I've killed.
I know that this will build me up.
And think of me.
I know that was brave.
We all fell down that day.
current mood:  pessimistic
current music: Dogwood
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
| |
8:08 pm - hi
|
hey everyone, thought i don't know who reads this, I'm home from another sucessfull semester at college, alot has change since i last posted so that rick dude dumped me after a week vacation in flordia so that was cool but that was like June 10th so now it's much later. This summer i just tryed my best to enjoy the single life and thats what i did. man did i have fun this summer the Picnic Basket is the best place in the world to work:-)I don't know where i would be if i hadn't worked there. so anyways i went off to school at the end of the summer and had the room mate from hell, she is a bad person, I don't know how someone could be that discussting of a person but she managed. but she moved out thank goodness. but i seem to have aquired a new boyfriend, we started things up on Oct 14 well he's from alaska and he's pretty cool. Oh this semester in school I got a 3.2:-) so i went from 2.0 to 2.6 to 3.2 so I'm on a rollnext stop 3.8... wow that would be amazing but i need it to bring up my carrer GPA. Its good to be home for alittle Im working at the PB and making tons of money today was my first day off in a really long time. it's was nice to go out last night and not worry about waking up in the morning, well anyways talk to everyone later call me if you want i want to hang out with as many people as i can
current mood: calm
current music: the Computer fan
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, May 2nd, 2004
| |
11:34 pm - Long time
|
|
Hey everyone who still reads this... I back from my first year of college it was succesful i passed all my classes I might not be getting the great GPA but I passed. The Outdoor Rec major rocks a Northern!! Yeah I'm in this club called OORP. it's the sweetest thing ever it the Organization for Outdoor Recreation Professionals they are the coolest group of people I've ever known... I guess thats cause they're interested in Outdoor Rec like i am... I got home and last night I had to be home by 12:00 and then tonight my parents aren't letting my sleep outside for fun so this really sucks being home and I just keep on relizing I'm not my own. So anyways i can't wait to start hanging out with people again I think i'm going to try to help the Salem track team this Spring but I don't know whos coaching. I miss my friends from Northern though... i miss my boyfriend he lives in freakin Wisconsin why do people live there? but I guess the missing will get better with time seeing how I won't really see him for like 4 months He's a really great guy he's name in Rick....:-( Heck yeah now my mom is freaking yelling me it's my bed time at 11:43 at night oh yeah it's great to be home:-(:-(:-( >:0 >:O >:o
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, November 8th, 2003
| |
12:03 am - Hi!
|
Hello everyone I'm still having a great time at northern the first snow fall happened today we got about an inch. I have a new boy friend now his name is Rick and he's from Wisconsin:-P he's a really cool dude. I've been sick for the last 4 days:-( that's the main topic thats been on my mind. Semester is coming to a close and I'm rushing around in my illness trying to get every thing done in time well I better get to sleep cause I'm so sick. everyone should watch Requiem for a Dream
current mood: sick
current music: Motzart
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, September 3rd, 2003
| |
1:04 pm - whoo!
|
|
Crap I just wrote a huge big journal entry about how sweet college is and it all deleted soo umm I guess I'm just going to type it all later But College is SWEET!
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, February 23rd, 2003
| |
10:21 pm
|
over
over
over again
it’s put through you
You learn it
You trust it
You feel it
it will destroy you
Trust nothing
Don’t truth them
don’t trust your self
You’re a worthless liar
just like the rest
Why would you be any different from them
You are one of them
Don’t trust me go hurt your self
And then you’ll see
You’ll see like me
Welcome to my world
Welcome to my Hell
It’s not much but I can call it home
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, December 12th, 2002
| |
9:44 pm - edited song....
|
If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a handsome man your husband,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly boy to marry you.
A handsome man makes his wife look small
And very often causes her downfall.
As soon as she marries him
Then he starts to do
The things that will break her heart.
But if you make an ugly man your husband,
You'll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly man comes home on time,
he'll always give you a piece of ass.
Don't let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though his face is ugly,
His eyes don't match,
Take it from me he's a better catch.
Say girl.
Hey baby.
Saw your husband the other day.
Yeah?
Yeah, he's ugly.
Yeah, he's ugly but he sure is rich.
Yeah?. Okay.
If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a handsome man your husband,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly boy to marry you.
current mood:  bouncy
current music: just the usally screaming
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Friday, November 8th, 2002
| |
3:34 pm
|
Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time
But you're out there
And I'm here waiting
And I wrote this letter in my head
'Cuz so many things were left unsaid
but now you're gone
And I can't think straight
This could be the one last chance
To make you understand
I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
'Cuz I know I won't forget you
Together we broke all the rules
Dreaming of droping out of school
And leave this place
to never come back
So now maybe after all these years
If you miss me have no fear
I'll be here
I'll be waiting
This could be the one last chance to make you understand
And I just can't let you leave me once again
I close my eyes
And all I see is you
I close my eyes
I try to sleep I can't forget you
And I'd do anything for you
I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
There's nothing I won't do
I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
'Cuz I know I won't forget you
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
hourglass's journal